Listography: Pet Hates

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I hate many things. And when I say hate, I mean really hate.

I hate rain, wet towels on the floor and cold tea. I hate offal, scary films and unnecessary mess. I hate skinny people who are generally beautiful and happy. And I hate miserable people who are generally rude. But what I hate most of all, is the fact that I hate at all.

So I’ve decided to try and be a little less of a hater (for “hater” see also “miserable old bag“) and be more of a lover (NLM, if you’re reading this, don’t get excited. I simply mean I’m going to try to be less mardy).

But it will have to wait until tomorrow. Because, for now, I am going to indulge my hates one last time. And I’m going to do it with the blessing of Kate at Kate Takes 5 in the form of this week’s Listography.

1. Know- It- Alls

There’s nothing worse than someone who “offers” you advice when you haven’t asked for it. When you are a first time mum you get this all the time. It starts when your baby is overdue and Know-It-Alls come up to you in the street telling you to “eat a hot curry”. It continues when your baby isn’t yet sleeping through the night and Know-It-Alls chip in with their Know-It-All tried and tested methods that got their baby sleeping through. Know-It-All has something to say on every topic and, clearly, their opinion is the best, because they Know-It-All. They are an expert on everything. Well, I have two words for you Mr Know-It-All…Bugger, and Off.

2. Coffee

I don’t have much to say on this one. Except for, it’s disgusting and tastes like rank cat wee. I like the smell though (of coffee, not cat wee, that would just be strange).

3.Rip Off Merchants

I think I must be the most ripped off person in Britain. You know that TV programme Rip Off Britain, with Gloria Hunniford?  Well the researchers of that show would have week’s worth of material if they met me. We’ve been ripped off with rubbish cars, rubbish Broadband providers, rubbish shoes, rubbish Christmas trees…the list is endless. In my humble Ripped Off opinion, the biggest companies are the worst. They have so many customers they don’t care if they rip off the likes of little old me. I hate it. And I hate it even more now I hardly have any money (babies cost, you know). And no, Mr Rip Off credit card provider trying to make me take out a Rip Off credit card, that isn’t your cue to come and Rip me Off. Again.

4. People who park in parent and child spaces (without children)

I went through a long, arduous process to have the right to park in one of these spaces (I’m on about the labour, not the conception).  If you haven’t got a child, you don’t need to park here. And no, dogs don’t count.

5. Spiders

Because they are hairy and move  in a creepy way. That is all.

Phew…From tomorrow I am going to make a concerted effort to love all of the above. Except for Coffee, that’s just wrong.

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13 Comments

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13 responses to “Listography: Pet Hates

  1. Ah so many highlights in this post I don’t know where to start. Ok I’ll start with the coffee: Are you fucking mad??? Coffee is what gets me through the day. I think you’ve missing something. Maybe you should persist a little…? The rest I can concur with – esp. the parking thing.

  2. That parking thing is so annoying! Coffee though…really??? Try a Starbucks Machiatto, you won’t look back! xxx

  3. Yes coffee does smell good, but that’s where it ends! can’t bear the muck. Funny how parent and child spaces never bothered me pre baby but now it’s a real pain in the arse. For one I would have never entertained the idea of parking in one before and now I have a reason every other bugger has got there before, and usually it’s some young couple, van driver etc! I find I glare at the cars as I drive past saying ‘I can’t see any baby seats!’ x

  4. JANE CLARKE

    thank goodness you’ve got that off your chest. I hope you can now move on.

  5. ooooooo i forgot about people who park in parent and child spaces who was i kidding when I thought I couldn’t do 5 haha

  6. Pingback: Blogger arrested for fly-tipping « Mother's Always Right

  7. I’m a non-coffee drinking spider hater.
    I wish I did like coffee as I love the smell of coffee and I love coffee cake, but I can’t drink the stuff!

  8. Pingback: Mother's Always Right

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