I hate many things. And when I say hate, I mean really hate.
I hate rain, wet towels on the floor and cold tea. I hate offal, scary films and unnecessary mess. I hate skinny people who are generally beautiful and happy. And I hate miserable people who are generally rude. But what I hate most of all, is the fact that I hate at all.
So I’ve decided to try and be a little less of a hater (for “hater” see also “miserable old bag“) and be more of a lover (NLM, if you’re reading this, don’t get excited. I simply mean I’m going to try to be less mardy).
But it will have to wait until tomorrow. Because, for now, I am going to indulge my hates one last time. And I’m going to do it with the blessing of Kate at Kate Takes 5 in the form of this week’s Listography.
1. Know- It- Alls
There’s nothing worse than someone who “offers” you advice when you haven’t asked for it. When you are a first time mum you get this all the time. It starts when your baby is overdue and Know-It-Alls come up to you in the street telling you to “eat a hot curry”. It continues when your baby isn’t yet sleeping through the night and Know-It-Alls chip in with their Know-It-All tried and tested methods that got their baby sleeping through. Know-It-All has something to say on every topic and, clearly, their opinion is the best, because they Know-It-All. They are an expert on everything. Well, I have two words for you Mr Know-It-All…Bugger, and Off.
I don’t have much to say on this one. Except for, it’s disgusting and tastes like rank cat wee. I like the smell though (of coffee, not cat wee, that would just be strange).
3.Rip Off Merchants
I think I must be the most ripped off person in Britain. You know that TV programme Rip Off Britain, with Gloria Hunniford? Well the researchers of that show would have week’s worth of material if they met me. We’ve been ripped off with rubbish cars, rubbish Broadband providers, rubbish shoes, rubbish Christmas trees…the list is endless. In my humble Ripped Off opinion, the biggest companies are the worst. They have so many customers they don’t care if they rip off the likes of little old me. I hate it. And I hate it even more now I hardly have any money (babies cost, you know). And no, Mr Rip Off credit card provider trying to make me take out a Rip Off credit card, that isn’t your cue to come and Rip me Off. Again.
4. People who park in parent and child spaces (without children)
I went through a long, arduous process to have the right to park in one of these spaces (I’m on about the labour, not the conception). If you haven’t got a child, you don’t need to park here. And no, dogs don’t count.
Because they are hairy and move in a creepy way. That is all.
Phew…From tomorrow I am going to make a concerted effort to love all of the above. Except for Coffee, that’s just wrong.