How to be a socially inept idiot

1. Start a blog.

2. Invite family over for the weekend and spend vast amounts of time worrying about not writing a blog post in two days.

3. Furtively check your emails and get irrationally moody at the sight of posts written by other bloggers you subscribe to. Spend more time worrying about not writing a post in two days.

4. Blame your bad mood on the man in your life and start a row about him not helping out enough. Secretly worry about not writing a blog post in two days.

5. Make an excuse to go to the toilet and have a quick glance at Twitter to check you’re not missing anything. Use the time you spend having a wee to secretly worry about not writing a blog post in two days.

6. Once all family have gone spend half an hour in a sulk that you can’t use the computer to write a blog post, as the man in your life has actual real work to do. Start another row about the fact he doesn’t take you seriously enough.

7. Finally write that blasted blog post you’ve been fretting over for two days and congratulate yourself on your reserve at staying away from said blog for such a long period of time. Take huge insult at any suggestion otherwise.

A socially inept mardy blogger (with a mild case of trapped wind)

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19 Comments

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19 responses to “How to be a socially inept idiot

  1. Oh well – it’s all good ‘material’ as they say. I spent all weekend fluctuating between being drunk, hungover or asleep so hadn’t posted for awhile either. The amazing thing is that the blogosphere survived without us…Odd I know.

  2. Yes. I know how you feel! I have a misguided belief that there’s a whole blogosphere out there of readers who will fret about where on earth I have gone if I don’t post enough posts this week! I have some huge stuff going on in my Real Life right now and yet I simply cannot shake the blog addiction! I think I’m gonna start some sort of blog hop support group about this! Ha ha!

  3. I can totally relate to this! Imagine how I felt being away for a week on my hols – I had to schedule a post for Flashback Friday as I couldn’t bear to miss out! I spent a fortune on Internet access in the hotel – every time I went for a wee I had to spend a Euro on Internet too! My OH sent the kids to check on me, I had posts planned for when I came home but I was devastated that I lost my beloved camera on the flight out there, I was miserable for days thinking of all the missed photo opportunities and moaned at my OH for days about how it was his fault that the camera got left on the plane – well I had it on my lap & if he hadn’t insisted that I do the 2nd pooey nappy change it wouldn’t have fallen onto the floor & got forgotten about when he passed a stinking Jack over the aisle to me!!! Now I’m back I’m still in a mood about the camera (even though I have a new one) so haven’t been able to bring myself to write a post about it yet!! Maybe if I tell you all my woes you can write about it, you are so much better at it than me!!!
    x

  4. Am too busy being one myself to really think of anything witty. Only instead of 2 days of family, I did 8000 miles of travel…with toddlers. Isn’t that a really good excuse?

  5. oh oh! 5, definitely. It is ALL his fault. Nothing to do with hormones. and you need to add 8. pluck up the courage to ask him to buy a laptop so that he never has to steal your computer time again. That or put the children into full wrap-around care.

  6. Number 6 – You live in a house with access to only one computer? I don’t think either of us would survive.

  7. So know what you mean. I used to wake up relatively peacefully. Now I wake up obsessed with catching up on all the tweets I missed in the meantime. #twitterrulesmylifeandineedtoescape

  8. Hi Molly. Thought of you when I stumbled across this blog post just now! http://northernmum.wordpress.com/2011/03/21/want-to-be-a-mummy-blogger/

    • So true isn’t it?! I saw it the other day as I subscribe. Makes me realise I now have less sleep since I started my blog than 6 months ago, when Frog was still waking 4 times a night for feeding!

  9. hehehehe;

    love it!

    i also tend to write my blog posts when i escape for a wee – tmi???

    Jane x x

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