I come to you from a year in the future. You are pregnant, huge, swollen, fed up.
And I say this: Enjoy every moment.
Because in just under two months your life will change forever.
You have no idea of this yet, but you are carrying a little girl. Ignore everyone who tells you it’s a boy “because your bump is high and round”. And stop referring to your huge belly as “he”. She won’t thank you for it later on.
I know it’s hard and you need the toilet every hour during the night and the man snores. But sleep. Those chances of a lie-in will be scarce soon.
Rub out the due date on the calendar. It means nothing. As it happens, she’ll arrive twelve days later. Ignore everyone who tells you to eat curry and have sex. It doesn’t work.
Carry on with knitting that blanket, but don’t be offended when your daughter turns her nose up at it. She prefers Primark – just like you.
Stop going on Netmums reading the birth and labour forums. And stop watching One Born Every Minute. It really isn’t that bad. Well, it is. But it doesn’t last long and you get a baby out of it at the end.
You will be sent back from the hospital the first time you go in with contractions. Make sure you open the car window. Breathing in putrid fart fumes from the (self-proclaimed) Northern Love Machine won’t help with the pain, despite his claim “it’s your gas and air”.
When your daughter’s born, give up worrying. Smell her. Hold her. Rock her. Ignore anyone who tells you otherwise. You are right to do what you’re doing.
These months will pass so quickly, before you know it you’ll be writing to yourself a year from now.
P.S. When changing your first nappy, ask for help. It’ll save getting black gunk all over the hospital bed.