That’s show business

I eat my words.

After waxing lyrical about becoming the best thing since Gary Barlow, it turns out I’ve been upstaged. Before today I was, quite literally, an A lister as far as my baby was concerned. As soon as I broke into song Frog’s face broke into a smile. If I did a dance for her, she positively bounced with excitement.

But now she’s realised I’m not cool. I’m like the Spice Girls after Geri left; deflated and a bit less glittery.

It all started last week. Frog being the lively kind of girl that she is, started attempting to clap. She would wave her hands together and either miss or, better still, clap with clenched fists (sort of defeating the whole purpose of clapping as she didn’t actually make a sound).

So my main aim in life for the past fortnight has been to make her clap. Properly, without clenched fists.

I’ve spent the last two weeks putting on shows that Take That would be proud of. I’ve sung every nursery rhyme under the sun and even tried a bit of Lady Gaga. And I’ve. Got. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. The girl is made of stone.

I thought I was getting close last night, after playing “pat-a-cake” (by the way, what is that all about – who actually “pats” cakes?) and Frog began to do her clenched fist claps in unison with mine. But still the palms weren’t flat, so still the claps didn’t count.

And then we went to Baby Sensory.

For those of you not familiar with Baby Sensory, it’s an hour-long session for babies with music, instruments, bubbles, singing, toys and anything else you could possibly think of. I suppose it’s the equivalent of a nightclub for babies, with extra champagne and a very sparkly disco ball.

The woman who runs our Baby Sensory (hello Jane, if you’re reading this) is a baby superstar. Seriously, if you thought Madonna had fans you should see the way these babies look at Jane. So, they sang their little welcome song and, as usual, Frog giggled and lapped it all up, ever the doting fan. But I wasn’t jealous. I mean, Jane’s just the warm-up act, right?


Because it was at that moment, the moment where Frog looked adoringly at Jane singing, that Frog clapped. Properly. With unclenched fists and everything.

Now, call me bitter, but I’ve been trying to make that girl clap me for two weeks. TWO BLOODY WEEKS. I’ve tried singing, dancing, even stand-up comedy, but she hasn’t budged an inch. And then some woman comes along who is not even her mother – NOT EVEN HER MOTHER – and my fickle child applauds her like there’s no tomorrow. If she could shout “encore, encore” I’m pretty sure she would have done that too.

Well, that’s me told then.

Lesson #78 of parenting: lap up the adoration of your baby, because you never know when they’ll withdraw their membership to your fan club.

Fake applause



Filed under Baby stuff, Development

18 responses to “That’s show business

  1. This makes me think of that saying about “loosening the jar.” You got it all loosened up so someone else could easily twist it off. And now that your daughter’s gotten the lid off, I’m sure she’s figuring it’d be silly to take it off a second time. That’s definitely it . . .


  2. How cute does Frog look in that photo!

    Ooh Frogs Gran if you are reading this isnt your granddaughter cute….


  3. You do know she did it on purpose don’t you? She’s probably been practicing secretly in her bedroom all week.

  4. jane Clarke

    Your aricle made me laugh and inspired me for a very dull day ahead.I’ll have a smile on my face all day now Why don’t you ask Jane to teach Freya to crawl !!??

  5. Ha. She is just keeping you on your toes. Wouldn’t like Mummy to get complacent, eh Frog?

  6. Thank you for the very lovely compliments. To Miss Frog you will always be her A-listed superstar – long after I become a distant memory!

  7. Awww how adorable!! I might run off to be a pushy mother now and try to bribe my little one to clap!

  8. Pingback: Does my bum look big in this? | Mother's Always Right

  9. granny from the north

    They never willXXX

  10. Pingback: The clap | Mother's Always Right

  11. Great post! We also go to Baby Sensory and you will see from my blog that our leader Julie has a the same effect on babies as your Jane. Esther and William just love to watch Julie sing! We do a lot of singing at home which Esther and William love but Mummy at home is no match for the wonders of Baby Sensory. We have a Messy Play session coming up this week. Do you?

    • Alas we finished our last Baby Sensory session last week. We loved it but we’re all about the Monkey Music, Water Babies and Toddler group now. I almost want to have another baby immediately so I can sign up to Baby Sensory again! Enjoy messy play – sounds like brilliant fun! x

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