The clap

No, before you ask, I haven’t got a bad case of Gonorrhea. This post is all about the action of clapping. You know the one – where you bring your hands together to make a noise, to illustrate your appreciation of something.

Except that isn’t the only type of clapping there is, not when you’re a baby anyway.

Recently I shared our long and arduous journey to clapping. It involved me putting on various Take That themed shows in a desperate attempt to illicit a round of applause from my 10 month old daughter. She ignored me until I basically mooned her, at which point she burst into fits of laughter punctuated by perfectly formed claps.

Two weeks on and the clapping continues.

So much so, that I’ve noted down the many forms her applause takes, to highlight the different genres of the clap:

  1. The excited clap

This one usually precedes a swimming lesson or a bath and is accompanied by lots of leg waving. The only way to illicit an excited clap without water is to a) moon or b) accidentally injure yourself while the baby is watching.

  1. The non-plussed clap

Pretty much the opposite of the excited clap, this one takes the form of a couple of half-arsed claps, usually while in a reclining position. It’s not uncommon for the non-plussed clap to follow a meal, which leads me to believe it may be baby talk for get a move on and bring out the pudding.

  1. The sad clap

This is a difficult one to witness, without immediately scooping your baby up and making a huge over-protective-mother fuss of them. The sad clap accompanies a tired or hurt cry (often after a particularly hard poo has been passed) and tends to involve a couple of soft claps, in between tears. Devastating.

  1. The milk clap

Expect a round of applause if you bring a beaker to your baby. That applause becomes deafening if the baby catches sight of an actual real nipple. Welcome to The Milk Clap.

  1. The tantrum clap

This is a scary one. The tantrum clap usually precedes a huge bout of screaming, often if a favourite toy potentially dangerous item has been moved out of baby’s reach. The tantrum clap is used to underline each shout, much like writers use italics. It serves to say I’m (clap) extremely (clap) annoyed (clap) with (clap) YOU! (clap).

  1. The poo clap

Last but by no means least, the poo clap is pretty much what you’d expect. It’s a round of self-congratulatory applause at a particularly nasty poo. It is often swiftly followed by the excited clap, in anticipation of a) water (especially if the poo was rolled in meaning a bath is necessary) and b) adult injury (i.e. passing out or vomiting over the noxious fumes).

This blog has been shortlisted in the Best Baby Blog category of the MAD Blog Awards. If you would like to see it win, please vote Mother’s Always Right in the MAD Blog Awards.



Filed under Development

11 responses to “The clap

  1. My youngest has a similar clapping arsenal, although I would add ‘the misfortune clap’ – she now claps when I trip and fall over…which makes me think she has inherited her mum’s bleak sense of humour.

  2. Do I need to moon at H to make her clap?

  3. hey just so long as it doesn’t turn your lights on and off, clap away! 🙂

  4. There’s been a lot of anticipatory poo talk round here. I must show this post to my husband. At least we’ll get some clapping out of it, eventually.

  5. berlimey I think I need to tune into my sons claps a bit better. Maybe you could set up a clap clinic? On the other hand…

  6. LOL fantastic….oh how I remember them all:)
    And sounds as though nothing has changed since my boys were tiny!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s