Baby brain

I’d like to dispel a myth: baby brain isn’t a temporary condition.

Well, not for me at any rate.

With a daughter nearing her first birthday, I’m starting to wonder if I will ever fully regain my lost brain.

When you’re pregnant, being in a constant state of confusion is allowed – expected, even. It seems to be regarded as an endearing quality (except by those who live with you and have to put up with nine months of lost car keys, lost glasses and forgotten shopping items).

And then the baby’s born and the baby brain really kicks in. Relentless sleepless nights and internet baby forum addictions can wreak havoc with a memory, don’t you know. But again, it’s allowed, “You’ve just had a baby for goodness sake. Really, just go and sit down and I’ll find your car keys.”

So here is my dilemma: how long can I get away with blaming “just having a baby” for my current state of stupidity?  With a child who’s nearly 12 months, I fear I may be nearing  the end of the acceptable time period of  the baby brain condition and hurtling worryingly close to plain old stupidity. How long does baby brain last anyway?

Because, I must admit,  I’m getting rather sick of it. My life seems to be filled with aimless stair-walking. Seriously, I spend at least 75 percent of my day walking up and down stairs. I’ll get to the top, realise I’ve forgotten what it was I needed and walk back down again, only to remember at the bottom. So up to the top I go again. And forget. Again. I can waste  a good half hour like this, just walking up and down the stairs.

I decided a while ago I couldn’t go on like this so I started reciting my reason for leaving a room, such as nappy nappy nappy nappy, over and over again until I’d retrieved the object of my quest. But then I’d get distracted by something, like a really good nursery rhyme or Take That song, or realise the hoovering hadn’t been done. And my quest would be terminated just like that. On his return from work, the (self proclaimed) Northern Love Machine would be greeted with a beautiful sight: a half naked woman (I’d forgotten to get fully dressed, obviously) wondering up and down the stairs muttering “nappy nappy nappy” in between random outbreaks of Relight My Fire and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, as she trailed a hoover after her, which she clearly had no idea she was holding.

This was in the early Frog days, you understand. I’m a little better now – these days I tend to remember to get dressed at least.

On writing this post I’ve just realised that I’ve rambled on about something completely unrelated to what I originally intended  to write about. There it goes again – baby brain.

Which leads me to my next question – how long can you use the “I’ve just had a baby” excuse to explain away a flabby tummy and big bum? Again, I fear the answer may be under the 12 month mark. Damn.

The reason for my stupidity

This blog is a finalist in the Best Baby Blog category of the MAD Blog Awards 2011. You can vote here. Voting’s only open for another 2 weeks – after this time I’ll shut up about it. Promise.



Filed under Baby stuff, Family, Pregnancy, Uncategorized

13 responses to “Baby brain

  1. louise

    Sorry my lovely “Placenta Dementure” last for years 🙂 I should know I still have it 12 years on !!!!!

  2. I’m in agreement….once lost it’s hard to regain!! I went from baby brain to M.E brain which is just as bad, only for me at least I know it won’t get any better, so no longer worry about it! LOL x

  3. I can only say it gets worse with each child!

    sorry who are you again?

  4. Just use the excuse “I’ve got X children” (two in my case) And to add some gravitas “UNDER five…”
    That’ll do you another five years at least…

  5. Just use the excuse “I’ve got X children” (two in my case) And to add some gravitas say: “and they’re UNDER five…”
    That’ll do you another five years at least…(because yes, you’ll still have pram brain by then)

  6. Lol :)) The bit about you reciting nappy nappy nappy still has me laughing!

    If it makes you feel any better, I haven’t even had a baby yet and I’ve represented similar symptoms for the last 5 odd years. I blame it on being a creative person! 😉

  7. I just burst out laughing at the nappy nappy nappy part, my baby brain is still awful and my little one is 7.5 months. My words come out wrong all the time, normally with rather amusing alternatives and my memory is non-existent. There is always about a 3 day gap in between running out of toilet paper and remembering to buy some more, and I live opposite a supermarket! I want my brain back!!

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