The end of a love affair

It looks like the love affair is over.

*sob*

My boob-loving daughter has, after a few false starts, entirely given up the boob. I know, I know. Get a grip and all that.

The thing is, this hasn’t exactly been out of the blue. First of all I whinged on about feeling rejected when she seemed to hate the boobs (it was the teeth – her teeth, I mean, not teeth on my boobs. That would just be weird). Then I moaned when she was all about the breastfeeding again. I wanted to wear pretty dresses and under-wired bras, see.

And now here I am, moaning again.

Don’t get me wrong, a big part of me is breathing a sigh of relief. So she doesn’t want that last feed before bed? Great, now I don’t always have to be the one to put her to bed. So she doesn’t want that first feed in the morning? Great, now I don’t always have to be the one to get up with her at the crack of dawn. I can wear dresses, underwired bras, even a jumpsuit if I’m feeling particularly daring (only joking – can you imagine me in a jumpsuit?). The wardrobe is my oyster. Finally.

But that doesn’t explain why I burst into tears in the middle of eating my chicken fajita tonight.

Yes, I’ve been a gibbering mess since Frog’s birth last June. And yes, there was a particularly sad scene on Waterloo Road. But that’s not what I was crying about.

I just had a really vivid image of a tiny Frog, all curled up against me, softly breastfeeding. And now she’s nearly one and she hates my boobs and she’s not tiny anymore and she doesn’t need me like she used to and did I mention she’s nearly one? AGH!

After wiping the tears off my soggy chicken fajita, I attempted to explain this to the (self-proclaimed) Northern Love Machine. Surprise surprise, he doesn’t get it. In irritatingly calm logic he pointed out that it’s all “part of nature” and that “babies grow up” (thanks for that). After I snivelled some more he shrugged his shoulders and said “it’s the circle of life”. It was at that point that I huffed out of the room – I don’t need someone quoting Elton John at me when I’m in the midst of a drama queen boob-related breakdown, thank you very much.

So it looks like I need to just get over it and stop harking back to the beginnings of Frog’s life. I need to look forward and get excited about all the new things we’re yet to experience, rather than the things that have now ended.

Not to mention making the most of this newfound freedom for lie-ins.

 

Back in the days of boob love

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29 Comments

Filed under Baby stuff, Breastfeeding

29 responses to “The end of a love affair

  1. Awww she is gorgeous!!

  2. I felt a bit teary and lost when Beastie just got ‘bored’ at seven months. The feeding dwindled until my milk supply tailed off (no engorgement thank god though) and he couldn’t have cared less. As you can imagine he’s a foodie.

    Now if I do ever have exposed boobs, (not that I do this regularly around him) my nipples just get a sharp prod now. Charming.

    Lie ins? Who you trying to kid…X

  3. You are not biased, frog is adorable, and although the boob love is gone the cuddles only getting bigger and soon you will hear the first I wuv you mummy.

    nothing beats that – not even boobie loving

    x

  4. First of all, what a beautiful picture! I LOVE that hat.
    Secondly, The Baby isn’t showing signs of boob-rejection just yet, but the fact that she too is almost one, and she suddenly seems like a little girl and much less baby-like, makes me feel like crying every day. What happened to the time?? Hate it. They just shouldn’t be allowed to grow up. And fellas don’t get it at all.
    Lovely funny post as always m’dear x

    • I know exactly what you mean about them growing up – I looked at Frog this morning and for the first time could imagine what she’ll look like as a 5 year old. When did that happen?! On the plus side, I hear it’s fun when they start talking…

  5. mummymummymum

    Frog is gorgeous!! Go and cheer yourself up with some new bras!! 🙂

  6. Joy

    I remember feeling this way with my first baby. But now just having my 2nd, I can’t wait for it to be over already. Thanks for the reminder to appreciate the stage I’m in. It’ll be over before I know it.
    ps-Here’s a great resource for caring for kids’ teeth. There’s a whole section on teething too. It’s called the Mom’s Guide (http://www.1dental.com/moms-guide/) and has practical tips from infancy through the teen years.

  7. I’ve got the opposite problem…2 years old, no sign of self weaning at all, feeds 3 times overnight…and to compound my worries I’m away overnight at Cybermummy! *eek*

  8. Nel

    “circle of life” classic male consoling! I bet he was distracted by secretly looking forward to having sole ownership of said boobs again!!

  9. What a lovely picture. Are you sure she’s rejecting and it’s not just a nursing strike? that happened for us around one, but the she wanted it again soon and I’m really glad we persevered (she’s got conjunctivitis at the moment, and is soooo miserable.)

    Either way, it’s totally normal for your emotions to go all over the place – it’ll get better soon. Just hang in there (and for the record, I still wear underwire bras! Even at 20 months of nursing!)

  10. Have you seen that Desperate Housewives episode where a mother goes to an interview with Lynette and her boy gets tempted off the boob with chocolate milk? (This will probably sound very weird if you haven’t…) Anyway the mother ends up weeping because she can’t eat anymore cupcakes because all those calories won’t be transferred to her little boy any more…Are you sure that’s not why you were crying??

    • You know me so well. Breastfeeding has been my saviour in terms of not putting on a ton of weight eating chocolate. I could well up again just thinking about all that lovely food I’ll now have no excuse to eat!

  11. I am most annoyed, I left a comment on this post last night from my phone and it obviously never got to you. Why oh why does it say it’s sent!

    The jist of it was that I felt the same and Beastie just got bored more or less. If he should see me without a bra, my nipples just get a sharp prod now, charming 😦

    Lie ins? you think? oh and just keep eating cake, sod it, you need it to cheer yourself up from the rejection x

    • Oh no – you commented before? Stupid blog, I never saw the comment! Don’t shatter my lie-in dream…I can but hope. Oh, and if you say it’s OK to carry on with the cake-eating that is what I shall do. Need something to pull me out of this boob-rejected doldrum! x

      • I think I have tried it in the past and should have learnt my lesson. Although it might have ended up in your junk folder.

        On the plus side you won’t have worry about leaking boobs etc. Just remind yourself of the early days of breast pads and waking up with a drenched bra/one boob. You get them back, it is kind of nice too 🙂 x

      • It’s true I won’t miss the leaking boobs and the soreness. I’ll never forget the time I woke in the night to drenched sheets and thought the NLM had wet himself!

  12. Ha ha is this something that the NLM could be mistaken for doing?! actually I think any man could be!!

  13. See now you made me all weepy just remembering how bad I felt when the girl decided she didn’t want the boob anymore, thanks for that!
    Oh, and there’s an award for you over at mine if you’re interested…

  14. granny from the north

    As my very good new zealand friend would say your just have to “suck it up” ! sorry that’s a bad analogy given the circumstances.
    Well done you for feeding little frog yourself for a whole year XXX

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