The interview

My stomach is in knots.

There’s a big interview in just two weeks.

It will be the difference between going out to work with my best clothes on, or staying at home wearing my crusty milk-caked dressing gown.

So I’m going shopping.

I’m going to buy the best, smartest, “buy me” clothes a girl could wish for. I’m going to choose the colours carefully and then get a pair of shoes to match. The clothes are going to scream “pick me, pick me”.

And they’re going to be in a size 12-18 months.

Because, you’ve guessed it, Frog’s the one on the stand. We have a little childcare problem, you see. So we’re off to see a new childminder. One who is open to an ad hoc childcare arrangement, where some months she’ll be needed for a couple of weeks while other months she won’t be needed at all. One who understands the life of a working mum who doesn’t work regular hours and often works from home. One who lives on the way to this irregular place of work and *gasp* has chickens. One who is available from September.

Childminders like these are few and far between.

So, while this golden childminder may think she’s the one who is going to be tested, we all know that, really, it’s the other way around. Frog has got to put on her cutest, most winning performance. Or she’ll be sent back to whence she came, never to look at another chicken again.

The problem is, she’s got a couple of new habits. They’re not particularly endearing. I now have two weeks to persuade Frog to give up screaming at the top of her voice until she has a coughing fit. That’s manageable I reckon. It’s the other one I’m not so sure about.

How do you tell a 12 month old that taking off her nappy, depositing poo all over the carpet and then rolling about in said poo is not going to win her any fans – especially of the childminder variety?

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17 Comments

Filed under Baby stuff, Family, Work

17 responses to “The interview

  1. Parcel tape….. There you go solved the latter problem for you x

  2. I agree with the last comment…many a nappy have I stuck down with parcel tape too……or covered with those coloured pants that are too tight to get off. But how could anyone refuse to look after Frog…..she’s adorable……….did you say September? oh I’m sure I’m busy then……
    x

  3. Catherine Ross

    I’ve always found a vest that pops closed underneath an effective defence against de-nappying.

    And that childminder sounds like a dream. If she has any friends with similar terms working in the Horsham area, I’d love to know of them.

    • I almost think it’s too good to be true – hence the huge preperations for the interview! A vest, parcel tape and padlock may be the way forward on the nappy front, I think.

  4. And they’re going to be in a size 12-18 months.
    Hahahahahahaha! Excellent setup for this!

    As for that second habit? Oh, my. I hope you’re able to break her of that, not only for prospective childminders but yourself.

    Is it wrong that I’m giggling, so long as I’m also wishing you well?

    • Not wrong – although I’m not sure you’d be giggling if you could see the destruction she causes. I found a nugget of poo on the bottom of the curtain the other day. This would be funny if I was bending the truth. I’m not. Actual poo on the curtain. *sigh*

      • The giggling is only the result of your doing such an excellent job telling it comically! Were I actually there, I don’t think I’d be doing the same. I would be lending a hand!

        I’ve got my fingers crossed. I wish I could do more.

  5. Jane Clarke

    Buy an outfit with inbuilt pants that way she will give up without too much of a fight

  6. Oh good heavens. I would duct tape that nappy to her body before you go out the door. That’s what I would do. And offer a cash bonus.

  7. Failing all that, a straight jacket?? ha ha x

  8. *coughs* did mean to own up to curtain pop after frogs party…..what can I say I was desperate

  9. Pingback: I’m leaving my baby | Mother's Always Right

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