Walking is an overrated activity

I’ve come to the conclusion that I have an abnormally bright child.

Hear me out on this one…

It’s all to do with the walking.

I have never been one of those parents to brag about their child’s advanced developmental milestones. Mainly because my child hasn’t reached these supposed milestones before any of her peers. In fact, she’s always been last.

I developed a bad case of sitting envy when Frog was around 7 months old. I’d be the mum at baby and toddler group surreptitiously sitting behind her daughter propping her up. As other mums asked “Is she sitting yet?” I’d outright lie. I didn’t want to be outdone or lose the baby race, see.

But after a while it all got a bit exhausting and I withdrew from said race, resigned to the fact my stubborn child really would “Do it when she’s ready”, which appears to be after every other child in the vicinity.

So now we’re at 15 months and the craze of the moment is walking. Everyone’s doing it apparently. Even those babies three or four months younger than Frog.

Turns out it’s an overrated activity. Well, according to Frog anyway.

As other tots wobble their way around on two feet she just looks at them with pity.

And I must say, this daughter of mine has it sussed.

I mean, she gets to be wheeled around like the Queen of Sheba, reclining on a soft lambswool fleece in the buggy which cost more than my car. And she gets to be carried around by doting parents, grandparents and friends, ensuring she is constantly centre of attention.

And when you’re so good at crawling, why bother getting up on your feet? Why would you spoil it all by walking when you can dash off at the speed of lightning as soon as your idiotic mother turns her back?

Yes those Clarkes “cruiser” shoes are very pretty. But they cost more than any right-minded individual would pay for shoes that are so bloody tiny, it’s a much better idea to keep them shiny and new by not actually using them for what they’re intended. Far better to just drag them along on crawling feet, turning to wave at them occasionally.

So this is why I’ve come to the conclusion that my daughter’s refusal to walk is yet another example of her extreme intelligence and desire to be treated like a Queen.

No idea who she reminds me of….

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17 Comments

Filed under Baby stuff, Development

17 responses to “Walking is an overrated activity

  1. Mammasaurus

    Ah lording around reclining on a lambswool fleece in a buggy, carefully surveying her minions who have their parents so well rained that they have to walk everywhere !

    Great plan Frog !

  2. My eldest was last in the baby gang to walk. I still remember the competitive mums who’d ask sympathetically “is she not walking yet?” knowing full well that no, she is not walking otherwise you would see her actually bloody walking wouldn’t you !

  3. Nikki

    My youngest daughter didnt walk until she was 17 months! I had walking envy too and was convinced that she was developmentally delayed. She too did everything last. She talked last, she potty trained last.. anything she could come last at – she did!
    But she too had it sussed, she has 2 older sisters who cater to her every whim so where was the need for her to do things for herself?
    By the way, she is 3 now and doing fine! xx

  4. Ahhh I have the opposite problem, Iyla has been the first out of all her peers to do everything and I hate it! Well not the fact that she’s doing it but I don’t want to sound like I’m boasting so I just don’t tell people and I play it down when they ask. The old lady at one of the groups I go to said that babies are all different until they get to school, by which point they are all the same – as in able to walk, talk etc. The later the better anyway as they have more awareness of their surroundings – plus it’s less work! x

    • Hear hear to less work! I agree about all babies being different. I think the problem comes when people mistakenly assume that because a baby / toddler isn’t walking or crawling it must mean they’re less intelligent somehow, which clearly isn’t the case. Good on Iyla for being so quick though – bet she keeps you fit trying to keep up with her! x

  5. Baby H is clearly super intelligent also! They will go far. 🙂

  6. BB clearly heads up the gang, almost 17 months and no signs of walking!

    hurray x x

    BTW if anyone else throws me a pitying glance and says “dont worry, she will get there….” what good ever came of a statement starting “don’t worry”

    Humph

  7. Both of my children were “late” walkers. DD waited until 15 months. DS was 19 months – but had his very own slave in his elder sister and a built in vocabulary of “dis” and “dat”. Accompanied by pointing, that was pretty effective. He’s 26 months now and I keep finding him climbing on windowsills, the dining table, his sister’s slide…
    Your babes has the right idea and she’ll do it in her own sweet time, no one else’s. Good for you for being relaxed about it.

    • It’s not like I have much choice in the matter – the walking situation is completely out of my hands so why get stressed about something you can’t control?! Good on your son – sounds like had completely the right idea!

  8. granny from the north

    I know the answer! Look at NLM! it’s in the genes. He didnt walk until 21 months, days away from baby brother being born and I thought how am I going to carry two at once (and one rather heavy one!)? In the end no cajoling, bribery or health visitor assistance got that child off his bottom. The one day he ran….no tottering …no falling down…no back breaking finger holding…he just got up and did it. On his own terms and no sooner. So it will happen and probably when you least expect it. XXX

  9. Pingback: Have a little patience… | Mother's Always Right

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