Would you go abroad without your children?

 
Photo Credit: Trislander Sunset by Neil Howard
 
Tomorrow morning I am going to board a plane and fly 4,652 miles to Havana, Cuba. Without my daughter.
 
I’ll be with my husband. But not my 19 month old child. We’re leaving her at home with her grandparents.
 
I’ve written about going on holiday sans children before. But back then, we were only going an hour down the road. This time there’ll be water between us. Lots and lots of water.
 
The thing is, when I was pregnant, I could never imagine going on holiday without my baby. The thought actually riled me. I mean, what kind of parent leaves their child to go off on a jolly? How could you do that?
 
But then I became a mum and I realised how little time there was left just for me, us, Frog’s mum and dad. Life became about work, babies, work and babies. With possibly the odd supermarket shop thrown in.
 
So when we were planning our wedding, we decided we needed to try and reclaim some of that “us” back. Even if it was only for a few days.
 
That’s exactly what we did when we went on a short break back in October. It gave us space together as a couple, to remember why we enjoy each other’s company. Granted, we talked a lot about Frog, but we also reminded ourselves of why we loved each other enough to become parents together in the first place.
 
And that made us appreciate being a mum and dad even more in the long run.
 
That break was almost like a trial run for the one that begins tomorrow. The week we will be abroad is a special one. It’s our honeymoon. It’s likely to be the last holiday we will go on without children for a very long time. 
 
And it couldn’t come at a better time. With my new job, I get to see the (self-proclaimed) Northern Love Machine for about 5 minutes a day Monday to Friday. Weekends are our time together, but obviously Frog is part of the equation then too. We never get time just to ourselves. So this holiday is a time to become a couple again.
 
I’m looking forward to it. But I’m also nervous. I know Frog is in safe hands. I know she’ll have a wonderful time with her “Mar Mar” and “Dar Dar”. But I also know I’m going to miss her.
 
I just hope I don’t pine for her to the point that it hurts and I can’t enjoy the beach and cocktails…
 
 
 
 
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27 Comments

Filed under Being a mum

27 responses to “Would you go abroad without your children?

  1. You absolutely deserve this more than anyone I know Molly Weaver! Go and have the most amazing time – you won’t know yourself and when you get back you will be so recharged and just think how amazing that coming home will be! It will take the pain out of leaving paradise just knowing who is waiting for you 🙂 Love you! xxxx

  2. I loved my child free honey moon. Frog will be fine she will love it.

    Enjoy every second,

    I will miss you x

  3. I dream of a holiday without my kids, with 3 and no mum its hard to leave them with anyone for a weekend let alone a full holiday. Don’t feel guilty it will strengthen your marriage and make you appreciate her more when you return. Have a wonderful time. Lucky you.

    • We’re so lucky to have 2 brilliant sets of grandparents to help us occasionally. But I’m sure that’ll be the last time for a while we leave her to go abroad. It was our honeymoon so extra special but we couldn’t afford to make it too much of a regular thing!

  4. I would go abroad sans enfants like a shot. In fact, I’m tempted to join you! Missing is good. Makes you remember that you love them thoroughly. Easy to forget that when in their relentless company. Have a super time.

    • I didn’t think it would be possible to miss someone so much – at one point I actually felt physically sick I missed her that much. But then it passed and I had a Mojito and some conversation with my husband without the punctuation of constant toddler demands. And I realised that an occasional parent-only holiday is a very good thing indeed.

  5. 16 years a mummy and 20 years a wife my husband and I have often gone away from long weekends to a week without our 2 adorable sons. From our annual anniversary long weekend to week long holidays it is vital (as vital as expressing yourself through ones work) that you have time to spend together as a couple and not assume the role as a parent. It goes without saying each day is punctuated with comments and conversations about what they are doing and what you would ordinarily be doing; I recall one weekend in Paris when my son was very young that I felt totally lost during the witching hours of 4pm – 7.30pm but it is a time to remember who you are and why you are a couple, sharing time just the two is so precious; go have some guilt free fun! Coming home will be just as exciting believe me.. Its all part of being good parents and looking after yourselves as much as looking after your children. Enjoy xxx

    • Such wise words Linz. And I know what you mean about the witching hour. Every day, no matter if I had a watch on or not, I always thought about F at exactly the time she would be going to bed. But that time with just her dad and I was much needed. And I’m back raring to attempt work and motherhood with fresh vigour! x

  6. We went to Brussels for 3 days without the kids and I would do it again like a shot!
    You work very hard and deserve a nice break – you’ll come back all refreshed, now doubt laden with gifts for Frog, feeling like a new woman!

    Enjoy yourselves!

  7. I would certainly follow in your footsteps if I can child care. I think its neccessary from time to time to recharge and the trip need not be out of the country. Enjoy! I look forward the pics.

  8. I’m not as courageous as you… I’ve taken them abroad with me, often, but I’m too much of a wimp (or a control freak) to leave them behind. The Husband and I have had a weekend away (two whole hours by car away) last autumn so hopefully havana will be in my near future too!
    Enjoy your lovely vacation!!

    • Thank you – it was brilliant! I think knowing that it will be the last time for a very long time that we will be leaving her made us appreciate it all the more. I couldn’t do more than a week though, I missed her too much!

  9. Wow have a fab time! She will be fine, you know she will really. And you will have a much better time, and relationship, because of your time away. Appreciate it, and enjoy it. Don’t spend any time wishing you could fly straight back. I know you will really, because you will desperately miss her, but hold onto that thought that this is your only chance. You and the SPNLM will be much better off for it, I promise.
    x

  10. In the right circumstances, I believe I would.

    I’m actually a little bit nervous because both Ba.D. and I are leaving our little guy next weekend. I’ve left for a couple of weekends, but this will be the first time that we leave together. To talk myself through it, I thought of my boss telling me about how he hasn’t had a single night with his grandkids over. “If you’re always looking for reasons that his grandmas are not going to do it just right, you’re going to find them.” Li’l D’s now spent a few 20- to 22-hour periods with his grandmas 20 minutes away, but next weekend we’ll be working up to a couple of days.

    Ba.D. and I really, really need some help remembering what it’s like to really be together. These couple of days are perfectly timed.

    Next month, I couldn’t find a flight for a 2-day trip. I was agonizing about it, but Ba.D. was pretty resolute that he’d somehow make three whole days with his baby work so I didn’t have to spend an extra $600 on airfare.

    Have a great time! 😀

    • I think time together as a couple is really important. Even if it’s just an evening at home together – which we only get on weekends. But having just come back from our week away, I’d say I don’t regret leaving her. She had a brilliant time, yes I missed her terribly, but her mum and dad have come back revitalised and refreshed to be the best parents we can be again! I truly admire those people who never need any “time out”. I just can’t admit to being one of them!

  11. Yes when JJ was just over a year we went to the Dominican Republic alone and it was so needed. Have a marvelous time Molly, I know that Frog will be.

    Mich x

  12. Hell yeah….wait until she’s 12 or 14…you won’t be able to get to that airport quick enough….

  13. Ghislaine Forbes

    I’ve just looked at your hotels in Cuba on their websites. Now I’m asking myself why didn’t grandma and grandpa go along as the residential childcare and enjoy some of that wonderful beach and sunshine too! Only joking. You do deserve a holiday together and little madam is making her wishes very clear. All is very well. love ma x

  14. I reckon once you’ve eased into it, you’ll start to really enjoy yourself. Have fun in the tropics. Tell the Caribbean “Hello” for me.

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