The thing about Fridays…

…is that they precede a Saturday morning.

Usually, this should be a cause for joy, signalling a lie-in and a leisurely cup of tea. But, recently, Saturday mornings (and Sundays come to think of it) have meant something altogether different.

You see, from Monday to Friday, I am long gone by the time Frog wakes up. I leave the house at 4.15am for work, which means the (self-proclaimed) Northern Love Machine plays the role of Gok Wan in the morning, dressing our 20 month old non-toddling toddler and negotiating all the relevant tantrums.

But this is not the case at the weekend.

It’s not the dressing of the child so much as the dressing of the Mother that I find a problem. (I’m on about myself here, not my own mother. Thankfully she’s not reached that stage quite yet. Hi Mum.)

Because to even put on a pair of fresh knickers requires patience of the highest degree. My daughter is obsessed with clothes, you see. Her lust for shoes and skirts and pants and tops knows no bounds. Frog’s obsession makes the likes of Paris Hilton look positively frugal in the clothes department.

Getting dressed with a clothes obsessed non-toddling toddler is one of the most stressful experiences of my life. I rate this on a level equal to coming up with a top line to a breaking news story 20 seconds before going on air.

Getting your clean knickers onto your bare, wobbly behind is just the first challenge. The next part involves battling with the child to stop them putting the dirty pair on their head. That disaster averted, the bra comes out. And, obviously, is snatched from your grasp. So the nipples enjoy 2 more minutes of freedom while an alternative item of clothing is brought forth.

Five minutes of tears later (the child loves a pair of skinny jeans, apparently) and it’s back to the bra. Except the bra has gone missing.

It goes on this way for approximately 45 minutes. And we haven’t even got to dressing the non-toddling toddler yet.

Bring on Saturday morning. *sigh*

She's not fussy. Nappies or pants on the head work just as well.



Filed under Being a mum

11 responses to “The thing about Fridays…

  1. granny from the north

    I well remember this…from the pre-toddler days of (self proclaimed) NLM, who also self proclaimed a new term for the bra – quote: “mummy are you putting on your bust cloak!?!!!”
    That would be a good blog subject what children call things – often better than the real name!
    Love XXX

  2. surely she’s a bit too young for bras and skinny jeans??! 😉

  3. aww bless her the nappies on the head are rather fetching! I avoided this by not giving much pre thought to what clothes I scrambled on in the mornings and throwing on any clothes in reach before freeing the little ones, might not work for everyone tho as it takes some getting used to dressing in about 10 seconds half asleep whilst pre occupied with the screams of muuuummmmmmmmyyyy, normally followed by poooooo… which just made the scramble for clothes quicken its pace in an attempted to reach toddler before they found a new painting material!

  4. Yeah, I’ve got one of those, aged 13 months… Anything vaguely resembling clothes goes over her head. It worked well with my jersey mini skirt, and my Cath Kidston shawl. She struggled with my digital watch, though…

    L x

    • Ah, maybe that’s the secret then? If I dress myself from head to toe in digital watches, maybe I’ll have a chance at covering my bits without my child trying to steal my clothes!

  5. awww, bless her. I’m afraid these head strong little girls just get more head strong as they get older though 🙂

    Hannah quite likes Z’s pants on her head….and not always clean ones 🙂

    Also liking the idea of a bust cloak 🙂

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