Why I don’t like cats

Photo credit: Sensual Shadows Photography

I’ve heard it said that in life, you’re either a dog person or a cat person. I am most certainly not a cat person.

I don’t trust them. They lull you into a false sense of security, purring softly on your lap and then – BAM! they dig their sharp claws into the soft wobbly flesh of your thigh. They’re far too clever for their own good.

The other thing about cats is that they bring back a bitter memory for me.

It was a warm September evening. I had ventured out of the house and into London Town for an evening of free wine and singing at last year’s MAD Blog Awards ceremony. I was dressed to the nines, with a pair of very high heels. I felt good.

And then, from nowhere, I started to feel sick. I’d been shortlisted, you see. In the Best Baby Blog category. Up until that very moment, I had just been pleased to be one of the finalists. But, in seconds, that happiness turned to a feeling of dread and sweaty anticipation. Suddenly it wasn’t enough to just be a finalist. I wanted to WIN!

As my category came up I looked around the room nervously, with a rigid smile plastered to my face. My friend, Northern Mum, grabbed my hand. “Remember, it’s all about the winning,” she whispered reassuringly.

And then…. *big dramatic pause*

“The winner is – DIARY OF THE DAD!” *huge applause*

Of course I did the obligatory clap. I even threw a smile in the direction of the sickeningly talented man who had beaten me. Then I had a glass of wine and forgot all about it.

That is, until I got a text from my mum, “Never mind love, it’s about the taking part that counts. You did lose to a boy, but… there’s always next year.” Thanks mum.

And you know the worst part of it all? That bloomin’ winner – Tom – is a “cat person”. He even works for a well known charity of the feline variety.

And that, my friends, is why I don’t like cats.

***

This post may or may not have something to do with the fact that nominations opened earlier today for this year’s MAD Blog Awards. I would love to be at the ceremony again this year and rather like the look of Best MAD Blog Writer or Best MAD Family Life Blog.

If you enjoy reading my offerings I would love you dearly if you popped over to the nominations page here and threw a nomination my way.

This year, I want to do it for all the “dog people”.

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10 Comments

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10 responses to “Why I don’t like cats

  1. *snort* I did not say it is all about the winning! – unless you can read my mind? can you mind read? feck, will have to wear a sweat band next time you see me to block your all seeing eyes….

  2. But, Molly, what about all of us cat lovers you may now alienate? Are you really willing to take that risk?

  3. Helly

    I cannot quite believe I am reading these words written by my own lovely little cousin Molly! I love cats always have and always will, I have 2 cats Crawley and April they are both loving and affectionate. They may sometimes scratch but this is outweighed by their companionship. Besides that some humans are far more annoying than any cat I’ve ever known ;o) x

  4. Tom

    Great post! You’ve made me feel guilty again, but not 100% guilty due to your dislike of things that go meow *looks adoringly at shiny trophy*. Thought you’d like to know that I’ll be attending the National Cat Awards with work later in the year! Hope to follow that by seeing you at the MADs – with us both winning something, of course. 🙂

    • The National Cat Awards?! They get their own awards ceremony now?! You shouldn’t feel guilty – well deserved. Here’s hoping if I’m lucky enough to be nominated I won’t be in your category. May have a chance at winning then!

  5. I don’t like cats because my neighbour has two and they like to crap in my back garden, puke on my doorstep, leave dead mice outside my back door and sunbathe on my garden table leaving hair all over it! Grrrrr! x

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