Tag Archives: Pregnancy

April

Her name was April.

She had blonde hair.

She was firm but gentle, calm and quiet. She had warm hands. Continue reading

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Filed under Baby stuff, Breastfeeding, Pregnancy

Here comes the snow

This is me, pre-Frog.

Actually, it’s not quite pre-Frog; Frog is there, albeit the size of an orange, hidden under my jumper. But she hadn’t properly arrived in the world, not yet.

This photograph was taken at Christmas time in 2009. I was pregnant, having only recently “announced” the news to friends and family. I had no idea what was ahead, apart from that it involved a baby. And I was excited. Continue reading

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Filed under Family, Pregnancy

Birthday love

6.43 am, 27th June 2010: the moment my life changed forever.

You are tiny, little Frog. Purple, you don’t even look human really. Your little feet are all crooked from where they’ve been scrunched up inside me  so long. Your little hands make angry fists. Continue reading

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Filed under Baby stuff, Development

Karaoke Shoes

I’m going out tonight.

*Gasp*

As in, really out. Not just to put the rubbish in the dustbin at the end of the garden. I’ll be in a proper pub with proper adults and proper alcohol and everything. And I can’t wait. Continue reading

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Filed under Uncategorized

Baby brain

I’d like to dispel a myth: baby brain isn’t a temporary condition.

Well, not for me at any rate.

With a daughter nearing her first birthday, I’m starting to wonder if I will ever fully regain my lost brain. Continue reading

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Filed under Baby stuff, Family, Pregnancy, Uncategorized

A letter from a very fat woman to a very tiny person

I’ve been pondering all day whether to put this on the blog. And then I remembered that I shared my pants wetting incident with you. Not to mention the time I was found naked by a bunch of fireman. Oh yes, and the time I farted at boot camp.

So I suppose I’ve got nothing left to hide.

Here it is then. The letter I wrote almost a year ago, as I was going out of my mind with boredom waiting for Frog to hurry up and be born. I really should have started this blog much sooner. Continue reading

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Filed under Pregnancy

April

Forget the Royal Wedding. For us, April’s been all about the holidays.

Our first family holiday abroad and bank holidays spent in the garden, enjoying our first barbecues of the summer.

This time last year, I looked like this…

I was nervous and excited, with no idea what to expect of the future (well, obviously I realised the future involved a baby, but that was pretty much it).

And now, here we are. Frog’s nearly one and I can’t imagine life without her. We’re finally doing all the things I imagined we’d do together as a family; holidays, day trips, picnics and barbecues. Life’s easier now we’re past the half-hourly feeds and the colicky cries and the adjustment to parenthood. Life’s good.

This picture was taken on our holiday to Turkey a couple of weeks ago. We visited the site of Aspendos, an incredibly preserved amphitheatre. I broke every health and safety law in the book and climbed to the top of the theatre, Frog in tow….

Head over to Sticky Fingers to see the rest of the entries to this week’s Gallery.

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Filed under Family, Travel

Introducing: The home edition

So I’ve been back from my holiday for less than a week and it’s already time to step aside and hand some Mother’s Right limelight to you lot. Don’t say I never give you anything.

And in yet another act of unspeakable generosity, I’ll give a little recap as to what Introducing actually is. This is for anyone who’s new here, or who just hasn’t been paying attention.

Every Tuesday I send out an elephant-style trumpet for new friends. This is your chance to email me and introduce yourself. Then on Thursday, I pick three new friends (for this, read “blogs”) to bring to the rest of the blogosphere. The rules are simple but strict. All you have to do is email me with a link to your blog, but the limit is three a week. Anymore than that and I fear my brain will explode.

If you missed the sterling job Frau Fancy did holding the fort while I was away, catch up here and here. She brought us some brilliant new blogs and proved she’s as capable of work as the rest of us non-fancy lot.

So, this week the choices are mine. Oh, the power…

Circus Queen

For a funny, honest and thought-provoking read about pregnancy, this is the woman to visit. Circus Queen is on the eve of giving birth to her first child and writes so engagingly about her journey through pregnancy, I am as excited about the birth of her baby as I am any “real life” friends I know! What’s more, she lives in Bristol, which is where I’m from, earning her a big Introducing bonus point.

Her Melness Speaks Out

OK, so my daughter’s only ten months old. But I’m a regular visitor to this blog to see what lovely situations lie in wait for me when she becomes a teenager. Her Melness calls the subject of her blog The Gibberish Generation and writes about teenagers, parenting, relationships, the menopause…all sorts really. She has a raft of tips and anecdotes for living with teens, such as some must-read and very funny insights into how to tell if your child is lying. I’m personally storing all this as ammo to use once I make it through the baby years.

Not Missing Out

This is the go-to blog for anyone who needs to follow a lactose or gluten free diet. With recipes like Easter Bunny biscuits and Nachos, I defy anyone to leave this space without feeling slightly peckish.

That’s your lot for this week. Don’t forget to come back on Tuesday to answer my call for next week’s Introducing stars.

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Filed under Social Media

Pregnant Women: A Word of Advice…

Merry pregnant woman

Yes I know, I know. You’re sick of advice. You’ve already been told what to eat and what not eat, what to drink and what not to drink, how many vitamins to take, the best exercise to do, what side to sleep on (yes seriously, they really do tell you this when you are pregnant). The last thing you want is yet another know-it-all to chirp up and put their tuppence worth in.

But I’m going to anyway. 

Because I have a valuable bit of advice for you that you are unlikely to hear in your next antenatal check up. They don’t talk about this on Babycentre or Netmums or Mumsnet or any of the other Baby Guru sites.

My advice is this: make sure your bra fits.

And this is why I’m telling you…

I had a doctors appointment today (don’t panic, I’ll live yet) and it reminded me of an episode in my life I thought I had buried forever. But it has come back to haunt me so, as a kind of therapy I am going to write it all down, never to dwell on said episode ever again.

Last May I was heavily pregnant (heavy being the operative word). We had just moved out of town to a village and were settling into rural life. Everything was rosy and sunny and home-grown and Cath Kidston-style lovely. In my head. Anyway, this was a particularly sunny day and I was rocking a rather trendy (if I do say so myself) check maternity shift and skinny jeans combo. I would never have admitted this at the time, but it took me about an hour and a half to get ready for my check up at the doctors. I needed to create the impression of an effortlessly fresh faced fertile beauty, when the real material I had to work with was fat haggard old crone.

Rather pleased with the final result, I headed out of the house. On my way to the car I bumped into my next door neighbour’s gardener. Community spirit got the better of me and I stopped to chat. We had a good old laugh about something or other. And off I merrily drove, to the doctors, safe in the knowledge that I was settling into village life. I sauntered (as much as a pregnant woman can “saunter”) up to the receptionist and signed myself in for my appointment. Buoyed by my recent conversation with the gardener and keen to further my Community Spirit credentials at the village doctors, I probably made some crack about the lovely weather. I didn’t just go in and sit down quietly anyway.

And that was my mistake. That, and not wearing a bra that had expanded to fit my heavily pregnant boobs.

Because, as I took my seat in the waiting room I noticed an old lady looking at me with disapproval, and an elderly man sniggering into his Country Life magazine. And then it started to dawn on me. The reason the gardener had been so friendly. The reason the receptionist was so keen to chat. You know what’s coming next. My oh-so-cool check maternity shirt had flapped open over my huge swollen bump and boobs. Not only that, but my huge swollen pregnant boobs had made a bid for freedom from my badly fitting bra. I had flashed not only the entire waiting room (which was full because it was OAP clinic day) but the entire village.

And then I had to sit there for twenty minutes because my doctor was running late.

So, pregnant women, forget folic acid or staying tee-total. The most important thing you can do for yourself is invest in a bra that fits. And don’t book a doctors appointment on an OAP clinic day.

[NOTE: This sequence of events is entirely true, as much as I wish otherwise.]

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Filed under Pregnancy

Is she good?

When you have a baby, you are asked something time and time again. This is a question that follows you everywhere and is asked by every person you meet from now on. This question consists of three little words which fill me with dread: “Is she good?”

This is a question about the baby, you understand, not your mum or indeed any other female you may know. (It works for boys too, although in their case, substitute “she” for “he”. Obviously.)

Now, no one told me about this when I was pregnant. It appears this is a secret question that new mums have been asked for centuries. It is simply assumed you will be prepared and will give the correct answer.

So, imagine my confusion when I was asked this very same question just two days after giving birth…

Visitor who came to cuddle my newborn: “Is she good?”

Me (blank confusion all over my face): “Errr….yes?”

Visitor who came to cuddle my newborn: “Good. Yes. She looks like a good baby.”

Me (relief at getting the answer right): “Mmmm, yes, she is. Very good.”

Now, is it just me, or is this a very odd question to ask of a little baby? How can a baby be “good”? I mean, surely no new mum is going to say “No actually, my baby is bad. Very bad indeed”?

I just don’t get it.

I would understand if the question was “Is she a good sleeper?”, or “Is she a good feeder?”. But no, it is simply “is she good?”. If a baby struggles with wind, or colic or hasn’t got the hang of breastfeeding, does this mean they are “bad”? And, if so, does this in turn mean the mum is “bad”? The question implies that a baby who doesn’t cry or who sleeps through the night is well behaved, while one who does cry and who doesn’t sleep through the night is somehow naughty.

It’s a load of old rubbish, if you ask me.

Babies cry. Babies wake in the night. Babies get wind. That is what they do. And if your baby doesn’t do any of the above, then good for you. You got lucky. It doesn’t mean they are any more “good” than the next baby. It just means they are more convenient to look after.

So, I think we should replace the old secret question with a new one: “Is she convenient?”. And my answer to this one? No, she isn’t. Not at all.

My inconvenient baby

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Filed under Baby stuff, Sleep