Well I really was. Am. Always have been.
Here’s the proof… Continue reading
Well I really was. Am. Always have been.
Here’s the proof… Continue reading
Everyone has an opinion about weddings. The “right” way to do them, the “wrong” way, what’s symbolic and what’s just plain tacky. A bit like parenting, weddings can divide and bring together.
And that is exactly why we’ve had such trouble choosing our first dance.
We’re not particularly traditional people. We did everything the wrong way round to start with, having a baby first and all. And we’re not getting married in a church. So I was all for ditching the first dance altogether. But then I realised the endless possibilities. Continue reading
When I was little, there was one person in the whole world who had the ability to send me into a rage. She was about 3 and a half foot, had a wonky fringe and very much enjoyed doing handstands in front of the TV – while it was being watched. She also liked to steal diaries and do loud kissy noises when any boys were around.
Meet my sister, circa 1992.
There are nearly four years between my sister and I. So I was firmly used to being Number One Diva in the house by the time she arrived. To soften the blow, I was given a pair of roller skates and a pair of tap shoes the day my sister was born. Apparently she was a wonder child, who miraculously exited the womb to pop to the shops and find presents worthy of buttering up an older sister. Of course I was won over the instant I saw her – those were some very special tap shoes.
I eat my words.
After waxing lyrical about becoming the best thing since Gary Barlow, it turns out I’ve been upstaged. Before today I was, quite literally, an A lister as far as my baby was concerned. As soon as I broke into song Frog’s face broke into a smile. If I did a dance for her, she positively bounced with excitement.
But now she’s realised I’m not cool. I’m like the Spice Girls after Geri left; deflated and a bit less glittery. Continue reading
Well that does it. As if my cool credentials weren’t at the bottom of the heap already, Kate at Kate Takes 5 has issued another Listography highly likely to make me cringe.
This week’s Listography demands that we admit to the first five albums we ever owned. So here goes…..
1. Kyle Minogue: Kylie
I went through a phase of actually believing that I was Kylie Minogue. Remember that look she used to sport with the curly hair flowing out of a hat? I adored it. I used to sit in the bath singing I should be so lucky, lucky lucky lucky at the top of my voice. I was five OK? Give me a break.
2. Bonnie Tyler: Super Hits
I’m not apologising for this one. Total Eclipse of the Heart and Holding Out for a Hero? Classic tunes.
3. Take That: Everything Changes
Again, no apologies. You already know how much I love TT (as us fans call them).
4. Red Hot Chilli Peppers: Blood Sugar Sex Magik
Ok, so I realise Take That and the Red Hot Chilli Peppers may be unlikely partners in a music collection, but I acquired this album completely by accident. A boy at school recorded it for me onto cassette when I was eleven. I thought I was desperately cool and painstakingly copied the picture on the front cover.
5. Oasis: (What’s the Story?) Morning Glory
Don’t confuse me with someone who’s got taste. I bought this when I was twelve and decided I was an Indie. I cut my hair into something resembling a wedge of cheese (because I wanted to look like Justine Frischman out of Elastica) and died it brown. Except it didn’t go brown, it went bright red because my cousin sneaked a bit of red food colouring into the mixture to “give it some oomph”.
I persevered with my new image though, and bought a tank top. I then read something about Oasis “cracking the big apple” and, having no idea what that actually meant and becoming a little confused, I proudly told my dad I knew of a new band who were so good they were going to “crack an orange”.
And that was the end of my dalliance with cool. Long live Bonnie Tyler.
Not that I’m a drama queen or anything, but today has been a momentous day.
I…. (wait for it)…..
Handed my notice in at work.
See, I told you I wasn’t a drama queen.
Anyway, it’s been a pretty big deal for me. I’ve always loved my job and, when I was pregnant, I just assumed I would go back. But after much deliberation and calculation of childcare costs, I realised it just didn’t make sense.
So I’ve decided to go freelance. I know, I know, you’re very pleased because this means I’m finally available to work for you. Don’t all rush to book me at once. There’s plenty to go around.
But I do have a plan B. If the freelancing doesn’t work out I’m going to aim for a career change. And, because this all ties in very nicely with this week’s Listography theme of what we want to be when we grow up, I thought I would share my options with you:
1. The sixth member of Take That: Because Gary Barlow’s been hankering after me to join the group for ages. Good news Gary, I’m finally available.
2. A ballet dancer: Because I look rather fetching in a tutu. The big frills hide the old love handles.
3. A spa-tester: Because I really am very good at testing Jacuzzis and saunas. There’s a gap in the market for this sort of thing don’t you know.
4. A professional wine buff: Because I drink enough of the stuff to know the difference between red and white. And I think I’d do a brilliant little segment on Saturday Kitchen, especially if I wore my tutu and sang a bit of Pray.
5. A holiday show presenter: Because I like holidays. And I’m not bad at presenting either. It would mean keeping on top of the constant hairy toe problem though. Not to mention the bikini line.
What do you want to be when you grow up? Read the rest of this week’s entries at Manana Mama (she’s really rather funny). And no, I’m not drunk (for once). She’s hosting it for Kate at Kate Takes 5 this week.
If you’ve seen last week’s Listography post, you’ll realise I have rubbish taste in films. And here’s the thing: my taste in music is no better.
I have tried and failed to like “cool” music. I went through the gig phase at university. I rather got into The Libertines at one stage. I even copied my (much cooler) best friend’s Doves CD. But, if I’m totally honest, I’m not really that bothered by it all.
So that’s why I’ve decided to be totally honest when replying to Ipswich Mummy’s (Him, Me and Three) Soundtrack of My Life post. I am a mum now, so I can embrace my totally crap taste in music. Isn’t that what parents are for – to humiliate and embarrass their offspring? Well, that’s what my mum always told me anyway….
I am sitting in the back of my uncle’s car, by a rainy beach in North Wales. My cool older cousin has allowed me to stay in the car with her and her best friend while we listen to Bonnie Tyler. We have a new favourite song: Total Eclipse of the Heart. Or rather, they have a new favourite song. I just like it because my cousin likes it and anything she likes, I do too. We are learning the words to this amazing new song. Every time Bonnie warbles out a line, we have to pause the cassette in the tape deck and write it down, before repeating it. By the end of that holiday in North Wales I knew all the words and had my own copy of Bonnie Tyler’s album on cassette. I still know all the words and am happy to sing them for you, providing you give me a cheap Karaoke mic and a couple of Sambucca’s.
If you join in please post a link in the comments box below. For those that are tagged, I won’t be offended if you choose not to take part.