starting to make the rod...
I have a big fat rod on my back.
I’m quite proud of it. I’ve been cultivating it for a while. It’s taken months to make it this big. Months of breastfeeding before naps, months of cuddles with the Magic Blanket, months of getting up in the night. It really is a very big rod.
Now here is my question: does it matter?
Am I a bad mother because I am giving my baby what she wants, when she wants it? It’s not some kind of Earth Mother thing I have going on here, I just can’t stand to hear her cry.
If she plays up for her Dad when I’m not around, is it my fault for being too cuddly with her? If she wakes in the night for a feed, is it my fault for feeding her at night in the first place? Who says all babies should sleep through by six months anyway?
On the whole, she’s a pretty happy baby. She’s content to suck her thumb and go to sleep on her own most nights. But sometimes she’s not. Sometimes she needs a little help.
So, if rocking her, or feeding her, or cuddling her is “making a rod for my own back”, then good. I like rods. And anyone who doesn’t can just rod off.
Mother's Always Right 
Oh I’m so with you on this. I have so many rods I can’t bend down any more. But the trouble is I love them so much I want them to be happy all the time. That makes me happy! Simple. But I still know where to draw the line 🙂 and thank God I have one with autism and one without, so I know where the lines even more clearly!!!
I too have many rods – I still feed my little one to sleep and sleep next to her. I swore to myself with number 3 I would be better and follow all those baby gurus out there that tell us the way it should be done! Alas I have failed miserably but on the other hand I have a happy healthy confident one year old that I wouldn’t change for the world.
I say go with that makes you happy and the baby happy books with guidelines are for people with too much time on. I did what I wanted when I wanted with my daughter and she is now a very happy independent 13 year old. Enjoy your beautiful baby. x
Oh I am *so* with you on this one! The Boy is 21 months and we cwtch (cuddle) him to sleep. I can hear the sigh of disapproval from my inlaws and various experts about this but I *don’t* care. Yes it’s going to be difficult in the future, yes I hope this won’t still be happening when he’s 15 (otherwise I’m seriously going to need that rod to help support my back!), but also yes I enjoy it and so does he! I love feeling his little body curl up against me, his chest slow down as he falls asleep and his little hot breath on my neck. He’s my baby and he goes to sleep happy rather than screaming.
Anyone who disapproves of me, like you said, can ROD OFF!
Thanks for linking up to ShowOff ShowCase!
I love the word “cwtch” – I went to uni in Wales and used to use it all the time. Thanks for reminding me! Glad to have linked up, it’s a brilliant idea x
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Lovely, I’m a rod mummy…I also like lugging around a big cross sometimes too!!!
Great post and thanks for joining in the Maternity Matters Meme xxx
Fantastic post, I am reading it with my 8 month son feeding himself to sleep in my arms. I love my children and love cuddling them, feeding them. The only time I get stressed is when I am trying to conform to some routine that I don’t believe in anyway! I am proud of my rod!
Very true, we have to do what we all think is right and that will be different for different mums and different babies. We’re not all the same so why should we expect our babies to be?!
Gorgeous photo by the way x
I’m definitely with you on this one. I feed to sleep and enjoy it. If she’s not hungry, I cuddle to sleep. If she cries I pick her up and cuddle her: why shouldn’t she expect that?! It’s not a problem for me or my husband so therefore it’s not a problem. Full stop.
If It’s not a problem for you then it shouldn’t be a problem for anyone else. You go tell them to rod off…
Hehe, we should get together to compare the lengths of our rods sometime 😉
Your approach sums up the one I’ve taken and I even wrote a blog post once wondering whether I’d created a dependent moster. It turns out not, my girl is perfectly independent but it’s me she wants to cuddle, road and all, when she falls over or does something she’s proud of. And that’s the way it should be 🙂 x
Absolutely agree! Nothing wrong with a cuddle, it’s what mums do best…(I’m also a good Sambucca drinker and Take That mimer but I don’t think the baby appreciates these talents just yet).
I totally hate that saying. Who says its a rod??? I have spent literally hours stroking my son’s head to get him to sleep and I do not regret a minute of it. He needs me. One day he won’t. Its that simple.
Thanks for linking up and supporting Maternity Matters
xXx
It’s so easy to get bogged down with well meant advice about how to go about being a mum. But when it comes down to it, only you know what’s best for your baby. The health visitor once told me my baby (7 months at the time) had “discipline issues” because she wouldn’t nap for her dad. Well, she does now. And she sleeps through the night (most of the time). She just did it one day. You’re welcome on the link up – brilliant site. x
you sound like a fab mum.
enjoy X
Thank you! Muddling along is probably a more apt description…x
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